I (sometimes) love how I get to play with my environment and my reaction to it on a daily basis. The “sometimes” is when I feel resourced to be able to cope with it and when I don’t have the resources I find it overwhelming and highly frustrating :o{
The recent brushing up of my Feng Shui knowledge had me moving my desk to a more favourable position and opening up a space for more learning of myself and my environment. I had been facing a toilet room wall which is not conducive in Feng Shui to positive work flow. Moving my desk to face the entrance to the room, power position, and with my back to a corner (optimal would be a wall but that’s not possible in my space) as opposed to the window, more supportive, has brought up a pile of “stuff” for me.
Placing my desk in the new position felt good, although the power position brought up my issues around power, stepping into it, etc. The first time I sat in the chair I could feel that something was off, I felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to sit there. I thought it was related to the power issues I’d noticed first so I worked on that, which made it more manageable but I was not productive. I battled to start or finish much. Overwhelmed with feelings of shame and my triggered freeze response, I felt trapped. It was a wonderful opportunity to be able to work through things but I did feel overwhelmed by how much, as it felt neverending. I battled to just sit, be and feel, to allow and journal what was coming up for me. To ask what is it that I’m feeling in my body? Where is the dis-ease ~ physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually? I was challenged by the belief that I must be doing something even if it was beating myself up about not being productive or being able to .
After a few days the feeling was still there, even though it was reduced in intensity, I started to look around outside. One building has a corner that is directly pointing at my seat – this is called Chicken Beak Conflict in Feng Shui and is a negative energy that will slowly erode one’s health and wellbeing. So breaking that line and placing some plants on the window sill next to me has helped with that. Another was the impact of the flow of air up the staircase and into the room, aided by the door pointing directly at me, so closing the door a bit to deflect that has helped. As well as filling the corner behind me for support.
It still doesn’t feel entirely harmonious so I’ll be playing with it some more and taking the time to listen in to my body and emotions when I’m there.
Over the years I have learnt that I need to pay attention to the feeling straight away if possible. Which requires me to be conscious and present in the moment or I need to make it important enough to notice, make note of and look at later. I have learnt with WiFi over the years that my reaction is loud at first and then dies down as I get used to or acclimatise to it, like the urban legend of a frog slowly dying as the pot of water it’s in begins to boil.
Most often I don’t get a chance to do this, if it’s a work situation the pressure is on to do, to perform, to produce, to earn my salary, etc. and I will force myself to be there. I feel very blessed to have had this opportunity to feel how the subtle realms are talking to me all the time and my body is responding even if I don’t take the time to listen to it.
With love
Katrina