Last week I wrote about my concerns with the increasing levels of intolerance in the world at large and how I as an individual can approach it and try, in my own small way, to shift the needle back towards compassion, love and tolerance. In looking for that guidance for me to live by, one of the sources I turned to was The 4 Agreements. I spent quite a bit of time looking at them and trying to understand how I could apply them to my life to help, and I definitely found some wisdom there.

 

Being impeccable with my word and using my word in the direction of truth and love towards myself and others was a perfect place to start. I can commit to doing this, to shining light through the words I use in my posts and comments, the questions I ask to understand another, and to be gentle and compassionate in how I approach others. I can commit to not making assumptions about where someone else is coming from, what fears they have, what is going on in their life currently or has in the past that makes them act, react, or believe things in a way that is different to me. But choose to try to understand and use love and compassion instead of dehumanization, anger and/or belittling in response. I can choose to not take others’ actions or words personally, to not be affected by what I read, or the attacks and hatred that I may receive in response to anything I say. Those angry, hurtful, disturbing words say far more about the other person and their fears than they do me. I can choose whether I engage (and if so to be impeccable with my word) or to disengage with anyone. And I can choose to always do my best to shine love on anything or anyone that disturbs me, to not react or respond in a way that would increase intolerance, but to detach when I need to de-escalate, to stay calm and centered, and always try to seek understanding through compassion. Easy to do? Heck no! But is it worth it to try to lessen the amount of intolerance and hatred I feel around me? To bring peace and calm into my world? Absolutely.

 

On the anniversary of the USA 9/11 attacks I was listening to a speech given by the mayor of Gander, Newfoundland here in Canada; a town of 10,000 residents, who openly welcomed over 7,000 people from flights diverted when the USA shut it’s airspace. The community welcomed the travelers, took them into their homes, set up shelters and fed them and helped in any way they could. An amazing act of love and acceptance. As part of the mayor’s speech he said “Darkness is only overcome by light and hatred is only overcome by love.”. While I had heard variations on this theme many times previously, for some reason this time it really sunk in – perhaps because of the enormity of what this town collectively did. And it made me realise that while I had been feeling very alone in how to overcome this growing intolerance, there really are so many others who are stepping up and choosing to do the same. To shine their light.

 

And so I happily join my light with theirs – and invite you, should you choose to join – to shine bright, to illuminate the darkness, the hatred and the intolerance, and bring love to the forefront of our world. It is the little things each of us do that will change the world and if we choose to focus on and live the teachings of the Toltec, and choose acceptance over intolerance we can do this. I truly believe we can.

 

With love always,

Loretta

 

I feel very disturbed and saddened at the growing level of hatred and intolerance. Lately it seems to be exploding everywhere and in every corner of life around me; friends, family and strangers. Intolerance to anyone not like “self” seems to be an ever increasing trend, and the ability for people to post comments on social media appears to be fueling the frenzy. Intolerance to refugees and immigrants, to those of different race, sexual or gender orientation, to anyone whose appearance is different and, more recently, to both vaxxers and anti-vaxxers depending on which side the person posting is aligned with and, from my perspective, neither side innocent or more tolerant than the other.

 

When my timeline is filled with posts belittling others’ intelligence because they think differently or have different beliefs to the person posting; or stating that we should be shipping people off to some form of “camp” where they can infect each other, starve and die; or that we should be denying basic rights to the “other” because of some difference – language, race, belief, orientation, etc., I feel deeply disturbed. When it is considered ok to block healthcare workers from getting to work, or make those trying to access the healthcare they need, walk through a crowd of people yelling at them; or feeling it is ok to protest in and outside our schools leaving children locked down in classrooms, I feel deeply disturbed. When it is ok to physically beat up anyone or yell obscenities at them because they come from any culture that is different, I feel deeply disturbed. Have we learned nothing from history? Has some war been declared that I am not aware of? Where has compassion, caring for our fellow man and treating others as we want to be treated gone?

 

I shake my head and have sunk to levels of despair I have seldom felt as I read the comments and posts and see the hostility around me. And I have struggled with what I, as an individual, can do to move humanity past this and into the world I dream about, where love and compassion are shown to each other all the time irrespective of what differences we perceive in each other.

 

And the realisation for me has been that I can only change myself, check in with myself and examine where I may be exhibiting intolerance, discover where my fears lie and address them. And subsequently make every effort to be as loving, compassionate, caring and understanding as I possibly can be.

 

I can choose to accept someone else’s vieszpoint without agreeing with it, and aim to try and understand what life is like in their shoes. I can choose to respond in love instead of fear, which I believe is at the core of all of this hatred and intolerance. I can only focus on myself and try to show others a better way of treating everyone else. And if by these actions I can inspire just one other person to face and let go of their fears, to move beyond a rigid position they may hold, and view those around them not as an enemy or someone to be feared, but as a fellow human being with their own fears, hopes and dreams, then that is enough. If I can keep shining my light, I believe others will join me and shine theirs too.

 

I invite you to join me in dreaming of, designing and creating a better world. One in which love, compassion, acceptance and understanding are at the forefront.

 

With love always,

Loretta

For some time now I have been consciously trying to incorporate the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz into my life, but a recent situation with someone showed me just how deep my domestication/conditioning goes and how unconsciously I have not always been in alignment. It has been an eye opening time for me and I can also clearly see the impact in my life and in how both of us approached the situation. Although a long way from being totally in alignment, the light shone on how I am unconsciously not in agreement, has enabled me to look at things differently and to make changes in my approach, which has brought a greater sense of peace to me.

 

The Four Agreements are:

– Be impeccable with your word

– Don’t take things personally

– Don’t make assumptions

– Always do your best

 

Although I was honest in what I said and tried to use my Word in the direction of truth and love, I have realised that I need to be more clear in what I am saying, ensuring there is understanding and clarity without leaving things open to interpretation and assumptions by the other party. Or to assume on my part that there will be further conversation when I can provide that clarity so only making brief statements in the now. It has been amazing to realise just how much time I spend making assumptions. By consciously acknowledging when this is happening and clearing my head of them, I have become aware of how much free time I now have in my thoughts and am working hard not to fall into the trap of filling that free time with even more assumptions!! 🙂

 

I have also learned just how much I internalize things that are said, take them very personally and then use my Word against myself; beating myself up for what I could or should have done or said. And just how much my assumptions about what the other party is thinking or feeling can be turned against myself too, again beating myself up. It is hard to let go of this life long pattern, but when I am successful it is so freeing and peaceful and so I’m doing my best to catch myself, really evaluate whether what I am saying is true, and if not, to let it go with love and give myself a gentle mental/emotional hug.

 

Not taking things personally is definitely a challenge for me. However I realised that there are things going on inside and around the other party that influence how they project their feelings and emotions and these things may not always be visible to me (as in the iceberg picture below). Reacting only to what they are projecting and taking that personally causes me to feel upset, anxious and hurt, all of which may not have actually been intended. And it is only my reaction to what they are saying or doing that is causing my pain. And this is true the other way round i.e. the other party’s reaction to me. Taking time to pause & take a deep breath and realise not everything is mine to own is helping me find a calm centre and a place from which to look at things differently and eliminate a whole lot of angst in my life.

 

I have also realised I make assumptions all the time. Assumptions about what others are thinking, feeling, even saying, doing, etc. and am now deliberately trying to catch myself when I do and repeat my mantra “don’t assume, don’t judge” to myself over and over to clear those thoughts. I’m also trying really hard to ask for clarification of something rather than assume I know the answer. It may not be feasible in the heat of the moment, but I have realised I can find peace while I wait by not making any assumptions and “erasing” any thoughts that are related to assumptions from my mind through mantras, meditation and affirmations.

 

And I am trying hard to be gentle with myself when I am unconsciously not in alignment with the agreements and take things personally or make an assumption or realise I haven’t been as clear with my Word as I could have been. Instead of beating myself up as I have done in the past and using my Word against myself, I’m trying to accept that as long as I feel I am doing my best and trying to put the agreements into action in my life and to catch when I have fallen back on unconscious habits that have built up over my life, it’s ok, I can reset and try again.

 

It’s been a very tough lesson and one I’m a long way from fully learning, but it has also been an amazing breakthrough for me in seeing how I can use the Four Agreements in my life, taking it one step at a time and working towards bringing back peace and harmony.

 

With love always,

Loretta

I (sometimes) love how I get to play with my environment and my reaction to it on a daily basis.  The “sometimes” is when I feel resourced to be able to cope with it and when I don’t have the resources I find it overwhelming and highly frustrating :o{

 

The recent brushing up of my Feng Shui knowledge had me moving my desk to a more favourable position and opening up a space for more learning of myself and my environment.  I had been facing a toilet room wall which is not conducive in Feng Shui to positive work flow.  Moving my desk to face the entrance to the room, power position, and with my back to a corner (optimal would be a wall but that’s not possible in my space) as opposed to the window, more supportive, has brought up a pile of “stuff” for me.

 

Placing my desk in the new position felt good, although the power position brought up my issues around power, stepping into it, etc.  The first time I sat in the chair I could feel that something was off, I felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to sit there.  I thought it was related to the power issues I’d noticed first so I worked on that, which made it more manageable but I was not productive.  I battled to start or finish much.  Overwhelmed with feelings of shame and my triggered freeze response, I felt trapped.  It was a wonderful opportunity to be able to work through things but I did feel overwhelmed by how much, as it felt neverending.  I battled to just sit, be and feel, to allow and journal what was coming up for me.  To ask what is it that I’m feeling in my body? Where is the dis-ease ~ physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually?  I was challenged by the belief that I must be doing something even if it was beating myself up about not being productive or being able to .

 

After a few days the feeling was still there, even though it was reduced in intensity, I started to look around outside.  One building has a corner that is directly pointing at my seat – this is called Chicken Beak Conflict in Feng Shui and is a negative energy that will slowly erode one’s health and wellbeing.  So breaking that line and placing some plants on the window sill next to me has helped with that.  Another was the impact of the flow of air up the staircase and into the room, aided by the door pointing directly at me, so closing the door a bit to deflect that has helped.  As well as filling the corner behind me for support.

 

It still doesn’t feel entirely harmonious so I’ll be playing with it some more and taking the time to listen in to my body and emotions when I’m there.

 

Over the years I have learnt that I need to pay attention to the feeling straight away if possible.  Which requires me to be conscious and present in the moment or I need to make it important enough to notice, make note of and look at later.  I have learnt with WiFi over the years that my reaction is loud at first and then dies down as I get used to or acclimatise to it, like the urban legend of a frog slowly dying as the pot of water it’s in begins to boil.

 

Most often I don’t get a chance to do this, if it’s a work situation the pressure is on to do, to perform, to produce, to earn my salary, etc. and I will force myself to be there. I feel very blessed to have had this opportunity to feel how the subtle realms are talking to me all the time and my body is responding even if I don’t take the time to listen to it.

 

With love

Katrina

 

Although I had always found comfort, solace and peace in music in general, and in particular songs that spoke to me, my formal introduction to sound healing and the recognition of it’s power came from my late psychic and medium-ship teacher Claudette in one of our circles. She had half of our group (those being healed) sit in the middle of the circle with our backs to one another while the other half and herself (the healers)  were evenly spread around the circle. I was fortunate to be one of those receiving healing that time and to truly immerse myself and benefit from the healing. She led the healers through a relaxation and then instructed them to make whatever sounds they felt inspired to make using only their vocal chords. Each person made different sounds and at different volumes but the combination of all their contributions was absolutely amazing. I felt the vibrations deep inside my body and blocks I hadn’t even realised were there being shifted and released. Claudette was an amazing sound healer with just her voice and I am so thankful for the time I got to spend with her and for her sharing this gift.

 

Sound healing is a form of sensory therapy which brings vibrational balance and harmony to the body by slowing down our brain waves and bringing a deep relaxation which allows the body to self heal. It supports mental, emotional and spiritual well-being, which in turn reduces stress, anxiety and depression. Research has also shown that sound healing can help with sleep disorders, chronic pain, autism, cholesterol and high blood pressure, reducing the risk of heart disease.

 

Sound therapy has been well used traditionally by all indigenous societies around the world for centuries in their healing ceremonies and there is so much we can learn from them. It is suitable for both humans and animals and almost any kind of instrument can be used if it is done with the proper intention. Some more recognizable methods of sound healing are drumming, hand clapping, singing, humming, chanting, crystal bowls, Tibetan bowls, chimes, tuning forks, gongs, Tibetan bells, binaural beats and solfeggio frequencies.

 

Sound can also be used to clear and balance spaces and our environment. When Katrina did a balance on my meditation garden she recommended adding something to make sound and I chose to add a wind chime, immediately feeling (and continuing to feel) a shift in the overall energy to a more relaxed, peaceful and harmonious environment.

 

There are so many ways to add sound to your day to help relax and heal both you and your animals. From apps you can download that play binaural beats or solfeggio frequencies, to CDs or music downloads of crystal or Tibetan bowls or other forms of music on YouTube and other channels.

 

And if you find yourself without anything available and need some peace and harmony, try humming or chanting a mantra or tuning in and listening to nature’s sounds. You may be pleasantly surprised at how your body responds and how relaxed you start to feel. 🙂

 

with love always,

Loretta

Last week I shared a song “Already Enough” which spoke to me.  https://youtu.be/a7b27Pb2FJ4

 

Not being enough is one of my core fears/beliefs which can raise its head for me to look at and heal from different perspectives.  These last few weeks have been one of those times.  Finding ways to work with it, be okay with it, question it and move beyond it.  I often use music to lift my mood, to uplevel me and to remind me of where I want to be. I have a playlist on Spotify with music just for that purpose.  So I’ve been singing all the love songs to myself, singing songs like “This is Me” and “Already Enough” to empower me; and “It’s OK Not to be OK” as well as “All is Perfect” when things feel like they’re falling apart.  I’ve found great benefit in the music of songwriters like Nianell, Karen Drucker and Martyn Joseph to name a few.

 

Also really inspired with Nightbirde’s “It’s OK” which recently got an AGT Golden Buzzer from Simon Cowell, what a beautiful voice and reminder. https://youtu.be/CZJvBfoHDk0

 

How about you – do you find music helpful?

 

with love

Katrina

I’ve been following Karla McLaren, M.Ed for a short while now and am loving her work.  Her recent blog “Learning to flow with your emotions means learning to flow with yourself” spoke of creativity and how emotions play into it as well as some creative self care suggestions I wanted to share with you.

 

“Your emotions are also where most of your creativity and motivation come from, but as we’ve seen, the emotional exhaustion many of us have dealt with during this time of loss and upheaval have reduced our creative imagination.

 

One way to revive your creative imagination is to nourish yourself so that you can emote, respond, and act from a point of choice, rather than from a point of exhaustion or burnout.

 

Some suggestions for creative self-care in troubled times:

– Take silence breaks where your mind is able to roam. Often, your most creative thoughts can occur when your mind is allowed to be free.

– Rest during the day if you can, and get as much sleep as you can. Sleep is vital for your emotional and physical health.

– Replace noisy and emotionally manipulative media with long-form, sober journalism. Depth is an important part of creative thought and action.

– Take time to cry, grieve, and mourn when you need to.

– Monitor the quality of your relationships and focus on people who are nourishing, loving, funny, brave, and emotionally well-regulated.

– Engage with art, music, drama, and literature that remind you of the best of human nature.

– Reach out to groups doing the work to protect people, organizations, justice, and human rights – and support them in whatever way you can. It helps to know you’re not alone, and that there are people already working creatively on serious problems.

– Get out in nature, or if you can’t, gaze at the sky and let your eyes take in the expanse.

– Be with animals if you’re an animal person.

– Get out and walk, run, dance, or simply move at your desk.

– Listen to your emotions and learn how to work with them. Their genius can lead you into creative responses, even in the most exhausting times.”

 

You can view her full blog here https://mailchi.mp/karlamclaren/how-to-emoflow?e=3be0d9eb53

 

This has been a great reminder for me

Kx

Among the dandelions and buttercups growing in my driveway, and other gravel areas around the house, is another very beneficial plant that many regard as a weed with most of us just stepping on it or driving over it without giving it any thought. Like dandelions, Plantain, also known as  Broadleaf Plantain, has multiple uses and all parts of the plant are safe to eat and use in teas, balms and poultices.

 

Plantain is rich in vitamins A, C & K and calcium. It lubricates, soothes and protects internal mucous membranes, is astringent and anti inflammatory and helps stop bleeding. As a poultice it is one of the best remedies for insect bites, stings, burns or when you have accidentally brushed up against stinging nettle, as I did last week. 🙂 It will also pull out splinters and infectious material or pus from boils and abscesses. You can chew the leaves or crush them with a pestle and mortar, apply them to the site, bandage it and leave it for 4-12 hours to bring relief. It is a wonderful to have in a balm in emergency kits for almost all skin complaints. I personally make a balm with an oil infusion of calendula and plantain for when my dog’s paw pads get chapped and dry – and end up using it on my skin too to heal various ailments!

 

Plantain is very useful for reducing inflammation inside the body. As a tea it has been used to treat sore throats, laryngitis, coughs, bronchitis and mouth sores, as well as ease digestive or urinary tract discomfort. The leaves can be heated and applied to sore or swollen joints, and to ease sprains, pulled muscles and sore feet. The leaves can also be added raw to salads or stir fries. There are some studies that show plantain may reduce blood pressure.

 

Plantain seeds can be roasted and ground and then used with other seed and grain mixtures to add bulk and absorb-able fibre and helps reduce blood cholesterol. They can be used in teas to treat diarrhea, intestinal worms and any bleeding of the mucous membranes.

 

Chewing on plantain roots can be used to help relieve toothaches and heal gums, as well as for headaches.

 

Although considered safe for pets there are some animals that may be allergic if they are predisposed to other plant allergies. It is always wise to test for sensitivity first by applying a small amount of poultice to the skin and checking for a reaction. If using internally start with a small dose and keep an eye out for watery eyes, sneezing or other signs of an allergic response.

 

Plantain is also known as cart track plant in South Africa and as White Man’s foot in the USA due to way it was disseminated when it was introduced from Europe.

 

In the past I didn’t allow myself to think of myself as a creative person. That was reserved for my Dad and Katrina, both of whom are very talented artists. But recently I have come to understand that being creative is not just about art and the more I notice my own unique creativity and give it a voice, the more creative I become.

 

When allowing my mind to be still and quiet and my thoughts to just wander I have felt my creativity awaken in me like a snake that has been sleeping for too long. I feel it uncurl from its slumber and lift its head and shine. I feel it move and I choose to move myself in whatever way feels right in that moment – dancing, singing, toning, sound healing, doodling, knitting, sewing, gardening – whatever feels good is what comes out and I let it go feeling the ripple of excitement and anticipation. While mostly this is done when I am alone (!) – or with my dog Trapper who delights in anything that feels good and exciting and teaches me to live in the moment – I am becoming less self conscious and less concerned about what others think. So don’t be surprised if you come across me on a walk happily toning! 😉

 

And the more I move my body or allow myself to let go of limiting thoughts and beliefs, the more I allow my energy to flow freely within me and my creativity in all areas of my life to come out. The more I allow myself to just be and to sing, dance or do whatever feels right in the moment, opening myself to flow, the more inspiration I get and everything creative I tackle becomes so much easier. The more creative I get and the more I trust myself, the more satisfaction, confidence and contentment I feel in my life – all just creating more of everything positive for me. A win-win.

 

Will you join me and just let go today, just be, allow whatever comes to come and let your creativity shine?

 

With love always,

Loretta